Saturday, November 05, 2005

As the profile box only allows 1200 characters here is my complete profile:

I'm the epitome of the Superior American. My heritage is American Indian, African, Spainish, Celtic, German, Chinese, Japanese, Tibetan, Indian Indian, Arab, Persian, and Scandinavian. Just about everything but Pacific Islander. Freaking Pacies.

A self made man. Born poor in rural America, I walked 10 miles to school. Each way. Barefoot.By 2nd grade my feet were worn down to bloody stumps. By 3rd grade I was working as a Milker at Farmer Walker's Bull Farm. As I worked alone I felt like my own Boss. Except summers. Farmer Walker's grandson George would come then and "help out". With George's help production quotas would never be met. I would have to work with extra vigor & by the end of summer my hands were worn down to bloody stumps. After a few summers, Uncle Walker caught George "dipping into the profits" and then George was sent to a Mr. Brownie’s Arabian Stud Horse Farm for summers.

I was also a choirboy at church. Soon after my voice started to change & to increase my range Father Benedict would often use a special "vocal stretcher" which kinda hurt till near the end when a soothing balm would be applied on my chords. By 16 I was an Eagle Scout. With these experiences I was filled with enough manliness that I was accepted into the local StoneCutters Guild.

As soon as I reached majority I saw it as my duty to serve my fellow countrymen & with a recommendation from my Republican Senator(He was Father Benedict's brother) I was accepted to West Point & Annapolis. My experiances with the Boy Scouts & the Choir I was used to "pulling double duty".

I retired from the Armed Forces after serving as a S.E.A.L., Army Ranger, Airborne, Special Ops & the Coast Guard Men's Choir.

I'm a Veteran of WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Nicaragua, Haiti, Grenada, Panama, Kuwait & Iraq Wars of Liberation.

Using my well earned G.I. Bills I went back to school & received a BS.,MS.,MD.,PHD & a BDSM from Yale & SMU.

I started my own Defense related company & using the strong contacts I made with other men while in the Armed Forces I was soon quite well off. Politically I'm a registered Republican, however I make sure to donate to the Democratic leadership also.

I rejoined the Government as a procurer at the Pentagon & after a few years I returned to my company which I had left in such good hands when I was gone that the company profits had soared with multiple Military contracts. Delegating is very important in business.

I'm now retired & now in my spare time I'm a Scout Master & Choir Conductor at my local Church.


Blogger Iqbal Khaldun said...

Archetypal as well as superior! Funny post.

11:17 PM  

Thanks iqbal:)

5:21 AM  
Blogger Human said...

hehheehehehe. Too good man. I just about always click to see anothers blog before commenting. Yours was the exception. You had me till I pictured a naked Army laying siege.
Peace man. btw - ever been to Jesus General?

8:43 PM  
Blogger Pete's Blog said...

Ah ha.

We have found you McSeptic. You don't mind if a call you that?

Who said Australia's own technical investigators were slow and more interested in sheep?

The quality of your humor, in your brief sober moments, is occasionally alluring.

But may I suggest you be kind to young Antony Loewenstein because your attentions, while carnal, can be somewhat irritating to the smooth flow of socialist, yet well intentioned, thought.

In the words of General Patton "Is that a bazooka son? Or are you just happy to see me?".

2:26 PM  
Blogger Edward Mariyani-Squire said...

Okay okay. You are Officially Hilarious. *bling* I bow down to your superiority.

3:04 AM  

Rise Sir Edward. Its been fun. I'm off to other places.

8:24 PM  
Blogger Hellpig said...

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7:18 PM  
Blogger Hellpig said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:47 PM  

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